Our Perfectly Imperfect Christmas Season

Who can deny the beauty of the Christmas season?

When holly berries ripen and snow gently rests on leaves,...

when lights cast aside darkness in dazzling displays,...

when homemade treats are served on silver rimmed platters,...

and seasonal scents fill the house.

We breathe in and see the beauty of Christmas. Truly, it is a time like none other. We visit with family and friends more. We give more.

And then it happens.
We try harder.
We do more.
We aim for a higher standard.
Instead of resting in the beauty of Christmas, we make Christmas complicated.

It happens to me instantly. I forget about making fun, family memories and focus on creating a perfect day. Instead of helping them feel loved with a simple, special treat, I search high and low to deliver the ultimate surprise. Sometimes, I even contemplate a quest for a more perfect surprise. Why am I so quick to forget the perfect gift, the reason for the season.

This season, I am aiming to keep Christmas simple.

I have:

• replaced old wreath ribbon with a slightly mismatching colored ribbon which we had on hand instead of searching for the perfect match. But I loved the colorful results!
• served homemade by my mom (thank you!) cookies during a family watching of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. We watched it on network TV, because I didn't request it early enough from the library, and now we are too far down the list to get it before Christmas. Our viewing had 18 commercials per segment; we counted. But we saw a family favorite together!
• lit those cranberry colored candles each Sunday around our Advent wreath, because we decided last year we would use them for two years. But we remember Jesus' birth and celebrate His first coming!
• handed Jesse Tree ornaments from one set which only slightly match the book we are using this year to the children to hang. But we learn more about the events which led to His first coming!

I will

• not return the game we got our youngest in exchange for a light saber which he d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e-l-y wants, which completely slipped my mind and carefully crafted list when buying his gifts. Yes, I forgot to buy the one thing he really wants and hopes he's getting. Because I know that the gifts are only a thing.
• make a few more gifts with supplies we have on hand, but I won't brave the mall or scour the Internet for anything else. Because I know the point is to show love not opulence.
• look for perfect Christmas memories in the imperfect moments. Because I want to remember the times with family and friends.
• try to remember festive fun and simple ideas to do when I want to go overboard. Because the heart of the service is showing love not perfection.
• order out for our family's Christmas dinner instead of spending the bulk of the day in the kitchen. Because really they just want time with me not culinary perfection.
• remember the good gifts, better gifts, and the best gift. Because giving to others and receiving God's gifts are better than any store bought item.
• keep returning to these words, like I do every year. Because I need to remind myself when I want to strive harder for a more perfect Christmas.

And, I'm looking forward to celebrating the rest of the season with our family and friends without the expectations, perfection pressure, and complications.
Striving for simple,
~ Dorie

Family Pictures

Scrolling...I was going to say thumbing, but that would not have been accurate. I'm about two years behind on printing photographs! So, let's go with scrolling.

Scrolling through our family photos, I realized I was nicely cropped out most of the shots. It really wasn't intentional. I just happened to always be the one taking the photos. I was determined to change that. After all, I wouldn't want my children to have to wonder what mom looked like while they were growing up.

This was several months ago.

Since then I have had many opportunities to test my determination. It has been a growing experience for me to be on the other side of the lens, but ever so important. I want photos of me for my children and their children. Plus who really wants to be excluded from the family photos? Certainly not I.

The only catch to all of this, is that someone else has to take a turn taking the photographs and being excluded from group shots. My husband and oldest son have been graciously taking turns with me, photographing our family's memories.

Yet, we had no photos of our whole family together. {Which of course, I wanted!}

While at the lake, my sweet sister-in-law agreed to take some photos of our family! We are ever so grateful to her and to have these lovely shots.

~ Dorie

 

That's me with my beautiful family!

*Photos in this post were taken by my sweet sister-in-law. Boat is not ours...but one could hope...

Quiet Moments

~ Dorie

Family Hand Print Art

After seeing this art work, I knew I wanted to try something like it. I just didn't know what or how.

Weeks passed and no inspiration came to me, at least anything I really wanted to make. I let it go.

It wasn't until planning my oldest son's world history class did I finally find the creative idea I had wanted months earlier. Incorporating a personal family tree into his studies was an ideal way to make his history studies more meaningful. Even the little I know of our family ancestors is fascinating. Between settlers, colonists, and immigrants our children are blessed with a variety of brave, self-sacrificing individuals, who's lives have brought forth much fruit which we enjoy today.

At first, I thought I would try to place all our hands together into some type of tree, but I wasn't sure if it would look like I envisioned. Six hands could be tricky. I wasn't sure if I'd get the placement right, and I wanted to be able to see each individual hand. A family tree would be nice though.

Looking at the history, I thought about all those before us. Each had a family tree. Roots. Trunk. Branches. Leaves. Each one of us has a family tree, too. In a way, we are a forest. Maybe we could try a forest of trees.

Not wanting to give up on the singular family tree idea, I asked my family to add their hand print to both designs. I'd decide after the handprints dried. {For the hand prints, I used muted colors which match our dining room. It was easily done with acrylic paint brushed on a hand and pressing the hand onto white paper.}

In the end, I couldn't make the one tree look like I wanted. So, instead, I pursued the forest idea.

Once the hand prints dried, I painted dark brown trunks and branches over the hand prints.

It was then that I measured and set off to the craft store for a frame...only to learn I had used an 'odd' sized paper. No off the shelf frame would perfectly fit! Back home, I measured the actual art portion to decide if I could crop it. Unfortunately, there wasn't much room to crop. Six hands filled the sheet.

Days passed as I pondered.

Finally, I decided to purchase an on-sale slightly bigger frame that came with a thin mat and filler cardboard. Using the mat as the back drop, I glued strips of burlap at the top and bottom. This burlap would add some texture, but more importantly make the art work the right size for the frame. Once the strips of burlap dried, I positioned a clean sheet of paper over the burlap pieces. This was to ensure the burlap did not show through the family hand print art work. Finally, I eased the forest print onto the very top, and secured it.

Once I placed the forest hand prints into the frame, I loved it, and knew just where I wanted it to hang.

I had picked the colors to match our dining room. I just assumed I would hang it off to one side. Yet when it was done, I wanted the family hand prints to hang in a more prominent place. Above the secretary desk seemed the perfect place, and I couldn't be more pleased.
~ Dorie

{Two of the hand prints are on the light side. If I redid this project, I would pick colors of the same darkness instead of trying to vary the tones.}

Waves of Life

 

 

 

It is the last of summer break; school would begin the very next day. We ended the long warm weather break with a trip to the beach. I had hoped it would be a relaxing day of sun, sand, and surf.

I wasn't expecting this.

Though he has gone in the water almost every summer since birth, he has never ventured out in the tides by himself. Either my Drummer husband or I would hold tight to him as we jumped waves or swam out beyond the breaking to calmer waters.

But after a summer of pool plunging and swim team swimming, my youngest had decided he was ready to go it alone. "I can handle it, Mom," he declares when I ask him to wait for me.

Shock shows on my face. I counter, "Your strong, but the ocean is a whole different story than a pool."

"I know how to swim well now." He dips a toe in the ripple.

There are things like riptides and waves knocking you over. Things you haven't had to deal with in a pool. And sharks. I hold my tongue and glance over at the Drummer. What did he think of this?

"He's fine. The surf is mild today." The Drummer is calm, smiling encouragingly to our seven year old.

"I'm worried," I confess as I walk over to the Drummer. My lower lip trembles slightly as our youngest walks, waves crashing first his legs then his chest. Mostly, he chooses to jump the waves.

"We are right here."

"Things happen quickly in an ocean," I mumble. The Drummer takes my hand, looks me in the eyes and tells me he's fine.

I quickly glance at our youngest, then scan the horizon for an upright fin.

He would swim and play in the ocean for an hour or more. All under the watchful eye of one calm daddy and one worried, crazy terrified, concerned momma.

Not until an hour had elapsed do I breathe a sigh of relief. I felt the air rush out of me. How long had I held onto that breath? Why wasn't I calm like the Drummer?

As our youngest heads for the shore, so do I. My body weakens as I settle in the low beach chair. Feet extend forward through the sand grains to receive a free exfoliating pedicure, which I am too tired to rightly enjoy. My eyes are strained from watching so intently. I'm weary of worry.

Yet, despite it all, deep down, I was proud of our little guy and his bravery. He knew he was ready, and so did the Drummer. Thankfully, neither waited until I was ready. Is a momma ever ready to loosen the hand that holds onto her child? Ready to release a child into the waves of life with all its hammering and rushing? With the sharks that swim just over the horizon? Can't a momma just hold on for a little while longer?

Time presses forward, and children grow and go out into the world.

Perhaps by then, with all these little letting goes, my heart will do better when the time comes.
~ Dorie

Rowing Lessons

When you learn something new and you like it, you want to pass it on, teaching another, or maybe you want to just show someone else your new skill.

During our week at the lake, she learned to row a dinghy {small boat}. Her younger brother wanted to try his hand at it, too.

Patiently, she showed him,

and he learned.

Then, when his seven year old arms gave way to tiredness, he rested in his sister's abilities.

~ Dorie

The Perfect Name?

For months now, it has been empty. Waiting. My Drummer husband and oldest son build it last winter in the garage while the snow swirled outside. We had promised the children we would fill it with a fluffy friend after our trip to the lake,

and we did. Less than one week after our return, thanks to the help of my detective parents, who spearheaded a search in their rural area, we found the perfect rabbit for our family.

Now, we just needed the perfect name...

Many were suggested and advocated over the course of 24 hours. Names like Shakespeare, Leonardo, Archimedes, and Einstein were tossed about over the dinner table. Our youngest asked us to name the bunny Fluffy. Much to his displeasure, his suggestion was immediately denied by the other children. As an emotionally charged debate was about to erupt above Grandma's cupcakes, we quickly suggested a family vote.

After a family vote {5 for; 1 against}, meet our bunny:

Gandalf.

~ Dorie

A Bit Mean? Perhaps

Every year, we place the gifts below the tree about a week before Christmas.

And, every year, when the packages first appear, the children scramble to find their three paper wrapped gifts labeled with their name. They lift, shake, and maybe even squeeze the gifts to guess what each package holds. Honestly, we don't mind one bit! We aren't trying to surprise them with the latest gadget or fad. We give simple, modest gifts. Usually the three gifts fall into something to read, wear, and play {code words for a book, a shirt, and a toy}. This year it is something to read, play, and use.

However, this Christmas, we decided to mess with them a bit.

We wrapped all the gifts, but did not label a single one.

All are wrapped in brown paper and tied with bows. Not one has a label.

The morning after we had placed all the gifts about the tree, four children scampered down the steps and began shifting all the gifts.

"Hey, there's no tags!"

"Which ones are mine?"

"Mom, why aren't there any names on the packages?"

~ Dorie


{Our system: girls have brown paper with white flowers and boys have brown paper with stars. Each child then has one type of ribbon tied about each of their gifts.}

Giving Up the Perfect Christmas

Spending Thanksgiving away from home was a blessing. We enjoyed our beach retreat and are thankful we could go. Once we returned home, it was time to pull out the Christmas decorations. With only a day left in November, we knew we needed our Advent wreath the very next day.

I dug through the cabinet for the candles. {Yes, we reuse our Advent candles from year to year. Generally, by switching up the order we can get two years out of a set. When the candles are too low for the wreath, we use them in other places throughout the house until they are gone. You could call us cheap, but we prefer the term good steward.}

When I did find the saved candles, I realized they were too short for the wreath. A new set would have to be bought.

Ever try to find purple taper candles on the Saturday before the first Sunday of Advent?

Not easy.

Especially since we avoid the large shopping areas and malls like the plague 365 days of the year and did so on this day as well.

Consequently, we only visited two stores. The first, a craft supply store, {the one I thought for sure would have purple taper candles} was sorely lacking in purple candles. Lacking as in, not even a shelf space for them. Green and red varieties abounded. I snagged one pink and three cranberrish colored ones from the red section.

Three non purple candles. Could it work? Did it matter if they were purple or not? I couldn't decide as we traveled a short distance to the other store.

My Drummer husband dropped a daughter and me off at the store before he took the other children to the pet store. They were to pick out a bone and treats for our dog. Meanwhile, my daughter and I were on a quest for purple candles.

The second store, a card outlet, had a candle section filled with scented jar candles. Toasted marshmallow was quite interesting. {I think I liked it.} We asked the clerk for tapered candles.

"Advent candles?" she queried.

"Ah, yes," I smiled.

"Right over there," she told us as she pointed to the other side of the store.

We picked up the box. $8.00 for four candles. Hmmm, I slowly calculated what we had just spent. $4.80 on the other four candles, which of course could be used for two years.

Slowly, I walked over to the counter with the candles in hand, still debating on the 'properness' of using cranberry colored candles in an Advent wreath.

"Will that be all?" she asked.

"Yes," quietly, I answer. I pulled out a ten dollar bill.

She bagged the box and thanked us. We left. All during the short walk through the adjoining parking lot, I kept wondering. Did the color really matter? Had I just wasted money purchasing two sets of Advent candles?

 

 

As the Drummer started the van, I told him we had found the purple candles.

 

"Do you want to take back the other ones?" he asked.

 

"No," I sigh. "I think I want to use them. They may not look proper, but let's use them first. We'll keep the perfect purple set for another year."  

 

As we lit the first cranberry candle on that first Sunday in Advent, I realized we'll be having a cranberry Advent wreath for not just one year, but two. There will be two years of obvious imperfection.  

 

And, I'm OK with that.

~ Dorie

 

 

 

 

 



Times to Remember - Another Thanksgiving

Another Thanksgiving anticipated, prepared for, and celebrated. We traveled to the seashore again this year. A quiet cottage aside the water was the perfect place for our family's celebration.

Though the weather was chilly, our eyes beheld beauty and amazing finds. {I had hoped to find conch shells this year, and since a two day storm ended on our arrival day, I thought the chances would be better than usual. They were! We found over a dozen conch shells, broken, but still beautiful.}

However, even better than the scenery was the privilege to spend another day, another Thanksgiving, with my family.

I am a woman blessed beyond my wildest imagination. Thank you Lord!

Praying each of you will look back on your holiday with such fondness and gratitude,
~ Dorie


P.S. This year, I again skipped the pressure of creating a Thanksgiving table setting masterpiece. Opting instead, to involve the children and their creativity has become a sort of Thanksgiving tradition, which I think we may just keep in the years to come.

Imperfectly Perfect Family Memories

Was it a recipe for schedule disaster?

Combine:
four children
two months
three different fall sports
parental permission

Fold into a busting schedule of three Bible studies, two piano lessons, two youth groups {one of which my husband and I serve as youth group leaders}, AWANA club, and worship team practice.

Place mixture within a limited 24 hour day, seven days a week time frame.

Allow to simmer.

Remember to breathe.


Yes, we knowingly permitted three children to join three different sports leagues which were simultaneously happening over a two month period. This was in addition to other commitments.

And as you can imagine, it was chaos!

 

 

As the fall sports season has ended and we ease into the holiday season, we are making a conscious effort to slow the pace and savor the moments.

While activities can offer many benefits, let us not forget the benefit of just being together as a family. Whether we are trimming the tree, making cookies, sipping hot cocoa, playing a board game, watching a holiday movie, or just talking, time spent together is never wasted.

This holiday season, our family will say no to some really good out of the house activities in order to say yes to a better thing: our family. For we want all of us to have memories of being at home together, enjoying one another's company. And, you can't create these family moments when you are running here and there.

We have no illusions of perfect family moments. There will probably be no Norman Rockwell Christmas scenes at our house. That picture of the table inserted above* is from a museum! As lovely as it is, no one will actually sit there gathered about the table. There will be no spilled gravy on the table cloth. Children won't tear into those packages.

In fact, at our real, lived in house I'm sure someone will spill cocoa all over the floor or someone will sneeze into the cookie batter {it's happened before}. There might even be some bickering {your house, too?} However, we aren't expecting picture perfect family moments. We want our own real messy family memories to warm our hearts this holiday season and for years to come.

~ Dorie


*Christmas table setting from this post from my homeschool blog.

An Evening Alone

My Drummer Husband took all our children camping one evening, leaving me {for the very first time, ever!} alone in a house with only the dog for company.

I've never been alone for an entire night. Not even during the college years - thanks to a multitude of roommates. Since the Drummer and I married right after we completed college, and were blessed with children pretty early on in our marriage...there has never been one night I haven't had another human being in the same apartment or house with me for an entire night.

So how did I spend the evening of my first night alone, ever?

First by having dinner with some friends, then home to bake some banana bread, and repurpose a few old jeans and shirts. More on the sewing project later.
~ Dorie

Breakfast Interrupted

What could possibly take a child away from the sweet goodness of orchard fresh apples and homemade apple bread?

Something unusual? Maybe something extraordinary?

A loud noise?

An emergency?

Or just a child's natural curiosity with a keen interest in what was happening in the very next room?

Really, who can resist this?

~ Dorie

Autumn Apple Picking

 

~ 'you're the apple of my eye' ~

 

 

 

A good autumn afternoon...

~ Dorie