Waves of Life

 

 

 

It is the last of summer break; school would begin the very next day. We ended the long warm weather break with a trip to the beach. I had hoped it would be a relaxing day of sun, sand, and surf.

I wasn't expecting this.

Though he has gone in the water almost every summer since birth, he has never ventured out in the tides by himself. Either my Drummer husband or I would hold tight to him as we jumped waves or swam out beyond the breaking to calmer waters.

But after a summer of pool plunging and swim team swimming, my youngest had decided he was ready to go it alone. "I can handle it, Mom," he declares when I ask him to wait for me.

Shock shows on my face. I counter, "Your strong, but the ocean is a whole different story than a pool."

"I know how to swim well now." He dips a toe in the ripple.

There are things like riptides and waves knocking you over. Things you haven't had to deal with in a pool. And sharks. I hold my tongue and glance over at the Drummer. What did he think of this?

"He's fine. The surf is mild today." The Drummer is calm, smiling encouragingly to our seven year old.

"I'm worried," I confess as I walk over to the Drummer. My lower lip trembles slightly as our youngest walks, waves crashing first his legs then his chest. Mostly, he chooses to jump the waves.

"We are right here."

"Things happen quickly in an ocean," I mumble. The Drummer takes my hand, looks me in the eyes and tells me he's fine.

I quickly glance at our youngest, then scan the horizon for an upright fin.

He would swim and play in the ocean for an hour or more. All under the watchful eye of one calm daddy and one worried, crazy terrified, concerned momma.

Not until an hour had elapsed do I breathe a sigh of relief. I felt the air rush out of me. How long had I held onto that breath? Why wasn't I calm like the Drummer?

As our youngest heads for the shore, so do I. My body weakens as I settle in the low beach chair. Feet extend forward through the sand grains to receive a free exfoliating pedicure, which I am too tired to rightly enjoy. My eyes are strained from watching so intently. I'm weary of worry.

Yet, despite it all, deep down, I was proud of our little guy and his bravery. He knew he was ready, and so did the Drummer. Thankfully, neither waited until I was ready. Is a momma ever ready to loosen the hand that holds onto her child? Ready to release a child into the waves of life with all its hammering and rushing? With the sharks that swim just over the horizon? Can't a momma just hold on for a little while longer?

Time presses forward, and children grow and go out into the world.

Perhaps by then, with all these little letting goes, my heart will do better when the time comes.
~ Dorie

Will He Stay or Go?

The declaration was sound, and loud. Coming from the way back seat of the van, our youngest exclaims, "When I grow up, I'm moving to New Hampshire to live near Nana!"

From the driver seat, I chuckle. "Really," I jokingly say, "What about me? your momma? Would you wanna live near me?"

"You can visit," he quickly replied.

We all laugh.

We're sitting at the gas station, fueling the van, watching the price of sale roll higher with each drop of gasoline.

"How about you?" Still laughing, I turn to our oldest son, wondering what he was planning.

"Not me. I'm not moving from this area," he declares his opinion aloud.

"Really?" My tone changes. Seriousness ensues. "What if God called you to go to say...Antarctica?"

He quiets. Breath abates. He turns to look out the side window.

Turning his head back, he evens his gaze with mine. "I'd go."

It is what I know I want to hear, but hearing it hurts.
And, my heart bursts into millions of pieces.

All of it makes the gift of today even more precious,
~ Dorie



Photographs from a summer day.

A Past Due Trip

We reward, not to be confused with a bribe {ahem}, our children with a fun trip to a place of their choice {within reason} with either mommy or daddy after they have read 100 books on their own. {Validated by mommy or daddy - who must listen to the entire book read aloud for it to count.}

Our oldest son went to a minor league baseball game with the Drummer.
Our oldest daughter went to a community ballet with me.

Our youngest daughter, well, she wanted to go to the zoo with me. Diligently, she read. There were easy books and long, involved chapter books. She persisted and finished reading 100 books. We were all pleased with her triumph, and heartily congratulated her. She was all smiles. We told her we'd plan the trip for the spring.

That was two years ago.

Yep, that's right I had forgotten about her reward...for two years.

Not a stellar mom moment.

This past June I remedied it. She finally got her prize!
And, what a fun time we had together, just she and I.

Our youngest has just begun his 100 books. We aim to do better this time around.

Thankful for His grace and mercy when I fail,
~ Dorie




*Reward idea for 100 books is something I read long ago. I am pretty confident it was in a book penned by Sally Clarkson.

13 out of 31

 

 

Yep, that's right: 13 out of 31 nights is the right ratio.

The two older children spent thirteen nights out of thirty-one in our home during July. Between two family vacations and their week at a camp, they just weren't home. This was probably more of an adjustment for me than for them.

We raise them to be.
We raise them to do.
We raise them to go.

All their lives we've been training them to go.
Why is this, when my selfish heart just wants them to stay?
~ Dorie



Photographs are of the string and bracelets my daughters are helping to make. They have been given to a family who sells the bracelets to raise money for Village of Hope in Zambia. {Blog link is here; Facebook link is here.}

Giving Your Children a Heart for the World

 

 

A globe sits in the back room and another in the family room.
A world map lies rolled on the desk.
A global puzzle is fitted together on the living room coffee table.
A book about children from another country borrowed from the library.
A picture of a little girl thousands of miles away is tacked to the kitchen cork board.

Each one is for the same purpose.
Each one is used to help our children learn about the world and the people the Lord created.

Our goal is simple: To give our children a heart for the people of this world, a heart like His, a heart that loves and points them to Jesus.

While we enjoy learning about other cultures and lands, we want our children to do more than just learn the facts. "Nothing but the facts" won't do. We want more. We want them to love their neighbors, whomever those neighbors may be. We want our children to reach out to others with His love, for His glory.

Cultivating this neighborly love includes seeds of compassion, understanding, action, and prayer.


A Few Resources:

 

 

Voice of the Martyrs 

Kids of Courage

Compassion: sponsor a child or download free lessons for children

World Vision: sponsor a child or host a global dinner



Whether it is the person next door or the child thousands of miles away, I hope my children will love them with His love.
~ Dorie

A Ring of Truth

"What's that?" I ask our youngest.

Smiling to suppress a giggle, "It's my wedding ring. I made it out of tape."
He presents his right middle finger for inspection. "See?"

"Well, if it's a wedding ring, it needs to be on the left hand."

"Really?" he asks.

"Yeah, and on your ring finger."

"This one?"

"Yep. So, do you think your wife is gonna like that ring?" laughingly I ask him.

"I don't know," he slowly replies.

"Someday, I hope God blesses you with a wife," I tell him.

"I'm not sure I want a wife," he confesses.

"Why is that?" softly I ask.

"Well, I don't really like girls. They are icky," he shouts for emphasis.

I start to laugh, but my wise teenaged son enters the room. He's been listening to our exchange. Squatting down to eye level with a six year old, he speaks to him, man-to-man, "That will change. Let me assure you, that will change."

Someday, yes, my sons, someday I pray you will each be blessed with a wife and children,
but for now, I thank God for each and every day I have with you.

It is a blessing to be a part of each change and growth for all my children,
Dorie

Why Every Day Is Mother's Day

 

Precious Children of Mine,

My parents always told me I could do anything I wanted when I grew up. I could be anything I wanted. It was up to me.

Not knowing any better about skills, talents, and opportunities, I believed them. To some extent, they were right. I really could have done any number of great things with my life.

The beauty of it all, was I got to choose.

Today, as Mother's Day approaches, my dear children, I want you to know...

I could have chose to do anything. I could have chose to work out of the home. I could have chose to send you to school. I could have chose much differently, but I am ever so glad that I chose to follow God's will for my life and be home with you day in and day out.

Truthfully, there are hard days. It isn't always sunshine and flowers. However, even in the midst of them, I will always be grateful I chose to be with you.

I wouldn't trade these days, these years, for anything. They slip by too quickly to take for granted.

You are busily preparing little cards and mementos to tell me 'Happy Mother's Day.' You might even pick out a present or flowers. And, I will cherish each thoughtful expression.

However, on this Mother's Day, I want you to know you are my gifts, sent right from our Heavenly Father. Your father working hard to enable me to stay home with you, this, too, is a gift. I know it is one that many moms who want to, never receive.

Ever day is Mother's Day. It is a gift to be opened slowly over the minutes and hours of the day. And, each day I am able to be with you is more precious than the last. I am blessed to be your mom.

Love,
Mommy

Making Sure Miserable Mom Stays Away

She was setting out lunch when it happened.
Milk poured out of the cup, onto her plate and the kitchen table.
It spilled down the edge covering her chair and the floor.
I could have cried.

The day had a difficult beginning.
By lunch time, I was on edge, wishing the day done.
All I could think of was what I had to accomplish that afternoon and evening.
Lists and chores stretched long ahead of me.
Final lines of the poem she was memorizing kept ringing through my head,

"And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep"

~ Robert Frost

Only I didn't hear it with that peaceful chant she uses to say the words.
No, my mind played it like the Wicked Witch of the West might utter it to Dorothy,
complete with a cackle at the end.

Nothing seemed to be going right,
and I was miserable.

Have you met Mom with a Miserable Attitude?

She's the mom who in her misery...

• hardly ever smiles
• is never pleased
• says no to playing with her children despite having time and ability
• hangs her head
• is discontent
• complains about her children and/or children's behaviors
• discourages others with her attitudes and perspectives

Do you ever have a miserable mom attitude?

I know there are days when I feel or act miserable. If we are honest, we probably all have a little bit of the miserable mom attitude inside us.


What should you do when you feel like a miserable mom?

For me, I

• Pray. Asking God to search my heart and find the root of the problem. Is it discontent? Pride?
• Read God's Word. There is nothing in comparison to the wisdom and perspective found in the Bible.
• Do something I like for a few minutes. My top choices are listen to music, create something beautiful, and take a few pictures.

How do you keep the Miserable Mom Attitude away?

Personally, I know two sure fire ways to keep a Miserable Mom attitude far way:

• Suffocation. If I don't give misery a chance to come up for air, it lies dormant.
• Starvation. If I don't feed the miserable mom attitude, it whithers and dies.

For me it is a choice. I hope and pray each day I choose to keep a miserable mom attitude down for the count and replace her with a Joyful Mom outlook.


Have you met a Joyful Mom?

She is who I aspire to be.
She's the mom who...

• is full of joy
• laughs often
• is content
• has peace
• finds beauty in the here and now
• says yes when she can to her children, getting right into their games and make-believes
• encourages other moms

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dear Father, You have commissioned me with this great task of mothering my children.
I cannot do it alone. Every day and in every way I need You and Your guidance.
Help me to do it well, and do it joyfully each day of this journey. Amen
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It is my prayer and hope to be a Joyful Mom more often than not.
It is what I want my children to remember when they think back on their childhoods.
By His grace, it may be so.
~ Dorie

{A special note: This post is not addressing despair or depression, but rather a heart attitude.}

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Linked to: The Better Mom and The Modest Mom Blog
     

Defining Something Important

I see a photograph, and wish I could have taken it. Full of emotion and meaning, it is the kind of photograph I'd like to take some day. It seems really important to a lot of people.

Reading another article, I sigh. I wish I could have written it. The topic, the candor, the truth it imparts is meaningful. It seems really important to a lot of people.

The missionary takes the microphone. He tells of far away places and people. The work hard, but rewarding. It is really important to share the Gospel.

The ministry team launches a new campaign, seeking more souls to serve in the new year. The local impact could be great. It is really important to reach our communities for Jesus.

I am not a part of any of these.

I am a mom,
an ordinary mom.

Today, I will...
make yet another meal,
clean spilt milk for the thousandth time,
load the washer beyond capacity again,
scrub mud encased feet and foot printed floors,
wipe runny noses and clean wounded knees.

Normal everyday occurrences and tasks for any mom.

However, I've learned nothing is normal and ordinary with the Lord.
For not only am I caring for the physical bodies of our children,
but the Lord has entrusting me {and my husband} to nurture and grow their souls in Him.
He wants me to reach and teach their hearts to love and follow Him.

He has asked me to pour my life into these young souls.

And, He doesn't ask me to do something He wouldn't do.
In fact, all He asks of me, He has done, does, or will do.

For when I...

• cuddle a crying child, wiping tears from cheeks, I remember He will wipe away ours.
• smile and cheer a child onward, I remember He encourages us on to greater things.
• when I rub the back of a frustrated teen, who is learning how to navigate the world, I remember His gentle ways.
• when I kneel beside and for the child beside me, pleading with words of love and hope, I remember His prayer for us.

So the next time I think, I wish I were doing something important,
I need to remember, I already am.
~ Dorie

How to Define Yourself

As my children age and mature, I find more topics I want to impart or impress onto their hearts while they are still at home. Perhaps this is just the way it is with parenting.

Today I was pondering identities, and what I want my children to know about them.
My advice to them follows.
~ Dorie


What I Want My Children to Know about Their Identities:


We humans are a fallen race, who sometimes get wronged, do wrong, and chose wrong. And, sometimes, we define ourselves by the wrong words with the wrong measurements.


What will you allow to define you? Will you measure yourself compared to others? Defining yourself based on how you rise or fall when compared to another's personality, talents, and accomplishments. How will you describe yourself, by the world's definitions and standards?

Will you use

a status...

• job
• marital

a number...

• of years
• of kids
• on the scale
• in the checkbook
• from an IQ test

your past...

• experiences
• accomplishments
• failures

someone else's opinions...

• family members
• friends
• bullies?

 

What is in a name? We all carry them about: Our names.
Typically, when parents have children they name them.
After all, babes can't talk and name themselves.
Someone has to call them something.
Nicknames are often used. Some are endearing, others annoying.
We determine what another calls us
through our introductions and voicing our preferences.


What is a label? Identifying attributes and talents can become words people use to label us.
As we grow and change we will meet many people.
There will be people who judge you incorrectly without knowing you or your heart motifs.
They will label you with words which either esteem or tear you down.
Still others will want you and your personality to fit into a box of their making.
They may try to keep you in that box with their assumptions.
These labels identify us as having or being something particular,
but they do not define the real you.


What is in a title? When an author writes a book, they entitle it.
The name either entices others to pick it up or it doesn't.
When an artist paints a picture,
they give it a name, describing the subject or emotion of the piece.
When an employee gets hired, he gets a title.
It is his position, place in the company.
It is not the whole person.


And, through the years, all these names, labels, and titles shape our life. We make choices to either believe the words or not. If we believe the words, we make our decisions based on them. One path is chosen over another. In the end, it isn't the title, label, or name itself that matters as much as your belief of them. Those beliefs impact your entire life.

The Choice to Believe We all have this choice: to believe or not believe.
For me, my dear children, I'm refusing to define myself by the world's standards. My status, numbers, past actions, labels, and titles are not all that I am. Yes, the words describe parts of me, but they are not my complete identity. They are not how He sees me. Over the years, I've learned, He sees me in a whole different light. In fact, He tells me many different ways and times, over and over in His Word, just who I am.


Who I am According to Him
a child of God {John 1:12}
alive in Christ {Ephesians 2:4-7}
loved {Romans 8:38-39}
forgiven {Matthew 26:27-28}
blessed {John 20:29}
rewarded {I Corinthians 3:10-15}
triumphant in Christ {2 Corinthians 2:14}


What will you believe? Will you firmly hold onto what the world says? Or will you trust the One who made you, loves you, and knows everything about you, even the number of hairs on your head. I pray you trust God, know who you are in Him, and become so secure in Him that nothing move you. May you be steady and strong in His love, grace, and mercy.
And, I hope in some way, your daddy and I have been a positive example for you to follow.
Love,
Mommy

Peppermint Bliss

The scent of peppermint,

and the taste,

both divine!

 

 

Last week, I set the table in red and white linens.

Pulled out our everyday dishes, which happen to be stark white,

poured milk into glasses,

and created a red and white breakfast for our children.

 

 

The night before, I baked chocolate chip peppermint muffins by adding

chocolate chips and crushed peppermint candies to a standard muffin recipe.

For a slightly less cookie muffin alternative,

I made whole wheat cranberry lemon muffins

from the same base recipe.

 

 

During breakfast, it seemed quite fitting to listen to

The Legend of the Candy Cane on CD.

 

 

Overall, it was a lovely way to start our day.

 

 

Rather not do a red and white breakfast?

One day, we enjoyed peppermint flavored hot cocoa.

 

 

Another, we ate a Chocolate-Candy Cane Cake, which I had made.

 

 

With just a hint of peppermint mixed into the cake, it was a delicious treat!

~ Dorie

 

A Royal Breakfast

 

It was a table set for princes and princesses...

 

 

 

 

and laden with gifts of gold {orange bread}, fresh fruit, scrolls, and flags.

 

 

A table set to learn more about their King:

The King of Kings,

through His names.

 

 

 

 

Resources and How-To's:

Table Setting Ideas:
gold cloth table cloth
yellow, trimmed in gold, china cups and plates
cream cloth napkins

Center Piece:
cream vase filled with sparkling red decorations
crystal goblets containing cream colored candles

Food:
hot apple cider
orange bread
slices of fresh oranges

Flags:
names - article from Children's Ministry Resource Bible
printed on marble-like paper
cut flags, tape to straws with clear tape
insert flags into 1/2 a large marshmallows, use the sticky side to fix onto plates

Scrolls:
names - article from Children's Ministry Resource Bible
print names, Bible references, and summaries of meanings
roll and tie with elegant gold-trimmed ribbon


* For younger children, a reading of We Three Kings, by Gennady Spirin might be a nice addition.

~ Dorie

24 Ways to Help Children Focus on Christ at Christmas

 

Amongst the glitter and excitement of Christmas, are you looking for a way to help your child focus on the real reason for the season? Perhaps one of these 24 ways will help.
~ Dorie

 

 

1. Light an Advent Wreath.
2. Hang ornaments on a Jesse Tree. (Read a post from the archives about our Jesse Tree here.)
3. One Wintry Night is a fabulous alternative to the Jesse Tree. Use the book as a devotional, reading one short chapter a day and progress from creation to the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.
4. Give gifts to Jesus. (A recent post from the archives can be read here.)
5. Scatter manger scenes about your home. Invite your children to view or play with them. 
6. Read books conveying the Christmas message like Jacob's Gift and Jesus, Me, and My Christmas Tree. 
7. Adorenaments display 12 different names of Jesus. Hang them all at once or use one each day as a devotional.
8. Watch Christmas movies like Punchinello and the Most Marvelous Gift or The Prince of Peace
9. The Legend of the Candy Cane: read the book or watch the movie, discuss the symbolism, and make candy cane ornaments or eat a few of these peppermint treats
10. Parable of Pine Tree: read the book, ask the children about the generosity and how it relates to Christmas. Then make pine cone ornaments or bird feeders.
11. Shaped cinnamon ornaments or sugar cookies can tell the story of Christmas (a post from the archives can be read here.)
12. Watch a live nativity play.
13. Listen to a choir concert or Cantata
14. View dazzling light displays and speak to your children about how Jesus is the Light of the world.
15. Teach your child the 12 Days of Christmas and discuss the possible symbolism. One resource is found here.
16. Make "gold" (or orange bread) and relate this block of gold one of the gifts the Wise Men brought Jesus. 
17. Learn or sing along with Christmas carols. A good resource is Christmas Carols for a Kid's Heart, by Bobbie Wolgemuth and Joni Eareckson Tada.
18. Use Advent calendars to read a bit of the Word each day. (One resource is found here, or use one of these ideas to make your own.)
19. Pray for the people who receive your Christmas cards. As you receive cards, keep them in a basket and pull a few out each day, pray with your children for the individuals who sent you the card.
20. Hang ornaments which tell the stories leading up to Christ's birth on earth.
21. Give your children three gifts on Christmas morning. Tell them about the three gifts Jesus received from the Wise Men. {This one has worked well for our family for more than a decade!}
22. Memorize Christmas poetry like The Gift, with your children, or better yet, memorize selections from Luke 2.
23. Help your children act out the Christmas story. Blankets work well as costumes.
24. Attend a Christmas Eve service together.