May 20, 2012

When Another Christian Hurts You

I don't talk about it much.  If you know me personally, then you might know I graduated from college.  No, not all my friends know this.  It is not something that I drop into conversation.  Naturally, then, you would have to know me very well to know I graduated with high honors, like the kind with Latin words.  For years, I have done nothing with my degree that enables me to take a test and have letters behind my name.  Before I married and had children, I sported these letters and worked daily using my education.  When my husband and I made the decision that I would stay home and care for the children while he built his career, I let my certification expire.  I let go of the letters and the identity.  I was, and still am, very content to be his wife and the mother of our children.

However, a few months ago, the Lord began impressing upon me the importance of using all my talents and skills for His glory.  I sensed that He wanted me to use these skills and talents beyond the walls of my home, not in lieu of my responsibilities and roles at home, but in addition, in a Proverbs 31 woman way.  I began praying for open doors and a willing heart.  I wanted to be open to using anything that He has given me in any type of ministry He brought to me. 

One day, my husband and I heard of a need for volunteers in a short-term ministry.  I became very excited.  The ministry opportunity would last only one week, but it was something I could do which would use my college education.  Certainly, the training and education needed for the job could be obtained through other means, and perhaps my degree was over the top for the position I wanted, but I knew it would help.  After speaking with my husband and receiving not only his support, but enthusiastic encouragement, and assurance that he and the children would be fine in my absence, I approached the Christian ministry. 

After sharing my willingness to help and asking one question, I was dismayed by the response I was given.  This individual, a professing Christian, dismissed my offer to help by telling me I'd be better off to wait until my children were grown, and that I could 'help' by praying for their ministry while I stayed home with my children.  I was not even given any opportunity to share my skills or past experience or how my husband and I would work out our personal family responsibilities in my absence.   Assumptions were made by this professing Christian and I was too shocked and too hurt to even correct them.

Obviously, the Lord did not want me to work in this ministry.  With a reception like the one I received, how could I think otherwise?  Yet, I was crushed.  As I prayed {OK, first I cried, then I prayed} about the situation, the Lord brought words of comfort in the remembrance of a passage from Acts.  Remember when Paul and his companions were prevented from going somewhere they wanted to go?*  The Lord wanted them to go to Macedonia, but Paul and his companions first tried to go to Asia and then Bithynia.  Both times, the Lord prevented them from going to preach the gospel in those locations.  Instead, He wanted them to go to Macedonia.  This was the Lord's best plan for their lives.  For whatever reason, I have just experienced this type of denial, and now I wait in hope for the right ministry opportunity.
~ Dorie

{*Acts 16:6-10}


  1. Oh sweet friend - sending you hugs of comfort. Sadly, I have been in a similar spot. Praying for you!

    1. Thanks Aurie! So sorry you have experienced this as well.

  2. You are talking of a part time ministry and your husband has put his blessing on it. You both have prayed and you aren't running away from family. I think you are right that something more fitting will come along soon. Your heart is so ready to do God's work and it is beautiful. God loves such willing devoted hearts.

    I went through this a few times. I excitedly went into full time midwifery with a partner and after several years of sheer wonder in seeing God work He called me back home. She didn't understand it and I wondered how such a good thing could be wrong for me and not her. The fellowship, money, praise, and testimonies--not to mention getting out with my godly partner once a week and for births--was so awesome. And we had just began working in the area I longed for; with the amish. We had 4 children at the time.

    But God wanted me to be a wife and helpmate instead. I don't regret that call; though there is truthfully not always the fellowship, money, praise and testimony (or outings) that I loved! My partner has a very large family, yet continued full time and I often hear of the births she is doing. Yet I don't envy her exciting ministry. I still get the honor of delivering about 3 babies a year and it is just right for me. I have had the pleasure of having no regrets in being here with my family watching them grow so fast it blows my mind.

    Years back I also put out a newsletter to encourage sisters in the Lord for a few years, and one older woman cautioned me in love to lay it aside until my children are grown. She said even if I do it as they nap, my thoughts are still drawn away from them to what I will write next, etc. Internet can do this to my thoughts also. I was smitten with her advice at first, but did end up letting go of the monthly newsletter. I also find that I need to fast internet at times.

    It's about prayer and balance, and I know God will lead you to the right thing and timing just as He led me. It may be a humble beginning, but by following God's lead you will have peace and joy. Thanks for sharing Dorie.

    1. Thanks Pam for sharing your experience and such words of wisdom!


Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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