Left Behind..or Right Where I Am Suppose to Be

While it seems like most women are packing their bags and talking about going to Relevant...I am not.  To which, I must confess, I was a bit sad.  I was not sad that they get to go.  No, I am truly happy for their blessing.  However, there is one thing about Relevant that made me sad.  Let me explain...

I could not even consider going this year.  My husband's work and ministry schedules during this October are filling out our time.  We knew this all the way back in March.  We planned for this busy season.  I am his helpmeet, and quite frankly, if I didn't do my part, he couldn't do his.  While I am happy to be doing exactly what the Lord has called me to do primarily - a helpmeet to my husband, I was a bit sad about having this initial feeling of what about me Lord?  When do I get the chance to go or do something for me? 

And then like most times, my very own words revealed the heart attitude that was wrong.  Did you catch it when you read it?  I literally was asking God, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, who has blessed me with innumerable gifts and amazing blessings, what's in it for me?  I was like a little child whining for not getting one toy at the store when thousands lie in her toy box, or worse, littering her bedroom floor. 

It was definitely not a humble servant moment in my life. 

After all, not only did He prevent me from going, there was never a doorway opening.   The option, for me, was never available.  I know what my heart response should have been: Yes, Lord.  You know what is best for me, and You have me exactly where You want me.  I am in Your hands.  And, that my response was not this initially, that is what saddened me. 

However, I am set free from that sadness...as I declare with Paul in I Corinthians 15:57-58:

"But thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm.  Let nothing move you.  Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

In a few weeks, during the weekend of Relevant, you will find me doing what the Lord has called me to do.  And, my dear sisters who are either going to Relevant or not going, please know I am very excited for you as you follow the Lord and do exactly what He is calling you to do {whatever that is} as well!