October 14, 2011

Left Behind..or Right Where I Am Suppose to Be

While it seems like most women are packing their bags and talking about going to Relevant...I am not.  To which, I must confess, I was a bit sad.  I was not sad that they get to go.  No, I am truly happy for their blessing.  However, there is one thing about Relevant that made me sad.  Let me explain...

I could not even consider going this year.  My husband's work and ministry schedules during this October are filling out our time.  We knew this all the way back in March.  We planned for this busy season.  I am his helpmeet, and quite frankly, if I didn't do my part, he couldn't do his.  While I am happy to be doing exactly what the Lord has called me to do primarily - a helpmeet to my husband, I was a bit sad about having this initial feeling of what about me Lord?  When do I get the chance to go or do something for me? 

And then like most times, my very own words revealed the heart attitude that was wrong.  Did you catch it when you read it?  I literally was asking God, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, who has blessed me with innumerable gifts and amazing blessings, what's in it for me?  I was like a little child whining for not getting one toy at the store when thousands lie in her toy box, or worse, littering her bedroom floor. 

It was definitely not a humble servant moment in my life. 

After all, not only did He prevent me from going, there was never a doorway opening.   The option, for me, was never available.  I know what my heart response should have been: Yes, Lord.  You know what is best for me, and You have me exactly where You want me.  I am in Your hands.  And, that my response was not this initially, that is what saddened me. 

However, I am set free from that sadness...as I declare with Paul in I Corinthians 15:57-58:

"But thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm.  Let nothing move you.  Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

In a few weeks, during the weekend of Relevant, you will find me doing what the Lord has called me to do.  And, my dear sisters who are either going to Relevant or not going, please know I am very excited for you as you follow the Lord and do exactly what He is calling you to do {whatever that is} as well!


  1. Oh, I love how open you are. To want to go and feel the sting of not, yet seeing you are doing what he is calling you to do...and it's not aboutyou...or me. I'm not going either. I've never been...so, I don't know what I'm missing...except the women I want to meet and the words I long to hear...and I hold fast, like you do...to that area where it's about me...but, it's about him!!!

  2. I think I just learned more from this 'session' than what I would have learned if I packed up and tried to save money and left for that conference.
    Thanks for your example, and I'll be learning in the holy and honorable trenches of home right along with you, dear sister. Maybe we should list out some things we learned at our 'informal' home conference and share them with each other this wkend. We may be joyfully surprised at how Jesus ministers to us in a simple, gentle yet in depth way right here at home. God bless.

  3. You share your heart so personally and in such an open way. Thank you for those reminders...for ME.

  4. sweet friend - such a beautiful post! I do wish that you were going - it would be wonderful to fellowship and worship together!! One day our paths will cross :)

  5. God's blessings upon you as you serve and worship Him where you are! Thanks for my book, too, it came today! Yay!


Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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