December 28, 2010

An Ending and a Beginning

It has begun
with curled hair,
a first pair of hose,
a satin dress,
and a shimmery barrette.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)

Just as I know something is beginning,
I know something is ending.

Oh there are still many days ahead of dolls, pretend play,
silly rhymes, and made up games.


I have witnessed the beginning of their end.
It was ushered in with a simple request,
"Mom, will you curl my hair for my choir's Christmas concert?"

And, there it was: the beginning of the end.
The putting away of childhood and putting on of womanhood.

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." ~ Paul, I Corinthians 3:11 (NIV)

I know it is RIGHT, good, and proper, but something inside me is crying out to STOP the clock, wind it back, let it begin again. 
I missed some things. 
I don't remember every single day. 
I want my little baby back. 
I want that time back. 
The times I held her in my arms, just listening to her breathe ~ my baby girl. 
I remember the days of the first 'firsts,' like her first tooth, her first steps, and her first words.

My heart aches with sadness, but swells with love for my oldest daughter as she begins a new round of firsts, the firsts that, in their proper time, will usher in womanhood and all that lies beyond.

It's like witnessing a change in the wind or weather, ever so subtle, but you start to feel the difference, and know it will change.  It always does.  So it is with life.  We can not stay in one stage.  We grow and change to become all that God created us to be. 

He has made everything beautiful in its time ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV

Intellectually, I accept this, and know it is proper, good, and RIGHT, but please bear with me as my heart is still learning to accept the end of something special and the beginning of something different, but just as special.

And, for my daughter I pray:
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. ~ 2 Timothy 3:14-15 (NIV, emphasis mine)

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