I am not worthy.
The thought stopped me for a week from truly receiving and enjoying his gift. Oh, sure, I took it in my hands, looked the box over, thanked the Drummer, and even smiled at him, but I didn't open it.
I couldn't open it.
Instead, it sat on the floor for a week.
Worse, it sat on the floor not two feet from where I sat day after day. I could have reached out and touched it at any moment, but I chose not to...
because I felt unworthy.
Oh, how I wanted either the gift or me to disappear.
Silly, I know. The Drummer went to the store, picked it out, and purchased it just for me.
But I, the receiver, felt unworthy, and wouldn't accept it...
After a few days, the Drummer grew annoyed, slightly angered, and disappointed. Still I didn't budge. I can be slightly stubborn.
Until, I realized that he, the giver, thought I was worthy. He, the one sacrificing to get me something really nice, was only asking me to accept his gift.
So I slowly opened the box, and carefully pulled out the contents, accepting his gift and making it mine.
While I was checking out my new camera, I started to ponder if I do this with any of God's gifts....
Do I stubbornly refuse to accept His blessings because I think I am unworthy of them?
For today, and most Mondays, I join Ann's Multitudes on Mondays, thanking the Lord for all the blessings He gives because He thinks I am worthy, and He knows best. For these, I humbly say 'thank you, Lord' whether I understand or not, and receive His bountiful blessings.
...continuing my gratitude listing...
831. gifts given in love, with sacrifice
832. hot oven baked oatmeal on frigid frosty mornings
833. sipping steamy coffee curled up beside the lighted Christmas tree
834. trying new seasonal recipes
835. cinnamon ornaments filling our home with a spicy aroma
836. little birds peeking out of homemade bird houses
837. candied sweet potatoes served one evening because the children missed these on Thanksgiving
838. walking among thousands of colorful lights
839. watching a water fountain show set to Christmas carols
840. trying gingerbread flavored hot cocoa
841. an amazing parking spot at the mall during our quick trip
842. going to a fun Christmas play at our church
843. family get togethers
844. capturing this moment:
845. more gifts I don't deserve
846. driving around looking at lights
847. buying with purpose
848. learning to use my new camera - not sure when I'll be posting pictures from it, but I will let you know when I make the switch
...and so it continues...