March 9, 2011

That's Not Fair

"That's not fair," my son countered when the decision was made.

He was right.  It wasn't.  Honestly, it never is; not in the sense that he means 'fair.'  Fair, for him, at his age, is exactly the same.  In that sense, fair is never achievable.  I cannot make their lives exact duplicates of one another, nor would I want to.  It would not be beneficial.  Each child has their own personalities, talents, and interests.  Their individual lives reflect those differences. 

And, while my husband and I make their lives 'fair' in the sense that each is treated equally, it may not always seem like that to each child. 

Their child perspective is different from our parent perspective.

My husband and I see events, friendships, and influences from a different point of view and hopefully with more wisdom.  Our decisions, while fair, will not always be seen as such by our children.  It is something I am willing to accept.  As they grow, they will learn, gaining wisdom and maturity in their perspectives.

Yet, I have to wonder, do I do the same with God? 
Do I cry out, "That's not fair!" in moments of my life?  When another seems to have an easier life, more blessings, better talents, or greater adventures, do I question the fairness of the One who is truth and wisdom?

Sadly, there have been, and will be, moments when I do.  Why can I accept that my children's lives will never be the same, and yet I sometimes look to another's situation and compare mine; judging it 'not fair'? 

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
~ Isaiah 55:8   NASB

It is in these times, I must be reminded that I do not see the whole picture.   When my focus is small, my thoughts are small and selfish, centering on my desires and definition of 'fairness.'  I must let go of my own sense of 'fairness,' with its incorrect assumptions and inaccuracies, and trust the One who sees and knows all as He brings events and people into my life to change and grow me during this lifetime.

Dear Lord,
Please widen my perspective, and grant me
wisdom to see my life's situations as You do. 
For those times when I cannot understand,
Lord, please grant me the peace to know
You have filtered the moments of my life
through Your loving hands, and
will guide all my steps,
each and every

This post has been linked to A Holy Experience for Walk With Him Wednesdays.
This week's topic is letting go.


  1. Amen. Thank you for the reminder! God sees things differently then us! This poem is one that I love that reflects this as well:

    The Weaver
    My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me,
    I cannot choose the colors He worketh steadily.
    Ofttimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride
    Forget He sees the upper and I the underside.
    Not till the loom is silet and the shuttles cease to fly
    Shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.
    The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver's skillful hand
    As the threads of gold and silver
    In the pattern He has planned.
    Grant Colfax Tuller


  2. Dorie,

    Oftentimes, life may not seem "fair" to us. God's perspective on life is certainly different than our limited human perspective. Sometimes, it is hard to understand that His ways are not our ways, rather we are children or adults.

    -Lady Rose

  3. Such beautiful words and a gentle reminder that we don't always see the big picture and we need to trust and let go - something that I struggle with.

    Thanks so much!!

  4. What a beautiful post and a timely reminder for me. Sometimes its so hard to see things from His perspective.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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